Understanding acronyms at a glance is a crucial skill in today's fast-paced, high-tech world. Thus this list:

ISDN: It Still Does Nothing

APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

SCSI: System Can't See It

DOS: Defective Operating System

BASIC: Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM: I Blame Microsoft

DEC: Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete Monthly

OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW: World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math

COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

LISP: Lots of Infuriating Silly Parenthesis

MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

TWAIN: Technology Without An Interesting Name