This bottle is ceramic, specially sealed to keep the carbonation in, the staleness out.  It’s heavy and much bigger than it looks in the picture.  At 750ml and 11.5% alcohol, and weighing in at about 9 pounds, you could easily use this to kill someone.

Walk into a bank, hold it up.  Shout, "I’ve got a Rogue Old Crustacean and I’m not afraid to use it!"

People scream.  They hand over money.  You use it to go buy more of this stuff.  Why?  Because at $18 a bottle you’ll need to knock off a bank to be able to afford it.

As you can see, it comes with a stopper so you can enjoy some now, enjoy some later.  I guess there’s some wimps out there who can’t handle a whole bottle at once.

Hee hee, let’s see how wimpy I turn out to be.  I have already popped the top and taken a sniff.  It smells like deep roasted barley with maple overtones.  Delicious. 

Raising the big, heavy ceramic bottle to my lips, I heave it back and let the liquid gold gurgle into my beer hole.

Seventeen hours later, I wake up stark naked, covered with dirt, in the bushes beside Highway 75 north of Dallas.  I have no idea how I got here.  It appears my eyebrow has been pierced.

No, seriously, this stuff is so strong it’s like getting the liquid equivalent of a ninja kick to the head.  The first rush you get is, of course, the barley and malt.  Bam!  You know that’s going to leave a bruise.  Then as that fades, it leaves you with the sparkling effervescence of those fine Oregon hops, rushing you with a wall of bitterness you have to have learned to love over time and lots of dedication.

The alcohol you can’t really taste.  Other high content brews I’ve had give you a warning through your taste buds, adding a vodka-like flavor to the mix.  This one doesn’t.  Before you taste a warning, you feel it.  You feel it like that kick to the head I was telling you about.  It catches you off guard just like waking up naked in the meridian of a major interstate freeway.  People in cars pointing at you.  Laughing.

Okay.  As I type this, I have finished the bottle, and I am feeling … drunk.  Officially drunk.  Most definitely drunk.

My dear friends I promise you I will not go driving.

I will also not proclaim this to be a Holy Beer Contender.  I will also say that, while this brew is very good, I do not think it’s worth the price.  I’ve had brews a third the price that I consider much better.

Still, I have to say it’s officially groovy.  We’ll see how I feel about it tomorrow morning.

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